So, I'm a little past the half way mark on my journey, and there are some 44 days or so left. Spring break is done, and the first half of the semester did not really go my way, but I've decided that I will be the master of my fate, and try to make the most of my experience here, academically at least, socially, I'm doing better than I'd ever imagined..but that's later on.
Adjusting to any type of new situation in life can be difficult, and can sometimes prove to be overwhelming, but as we get further and further vested into our new situations, we find ways to make do, it's just what we do. I'd just like to take this time to offer a bit of friendly and necessary advice if you were to ever travel to Canada, or some place with a similar climate.
First of all, don't believe the hype. It's cold, but it's not THAT cold. Before I left to come here, I was advised that one GOOD winter coat would suffice, along of course with a few sweaters and clothing that can serve as layers, but of course this did not happen. I allowed my dear sweet mother, and other friends to influence me, clouding my better judgement, and over packed, bringing a lot of unnecessary items. Seriously, a GOOD winter coat, which will be a bit costly, but totally worth it ,along with clothing that can serve as layering, will suffice. Clothing that can serve as layers can be purchased from anywhere, but I made my purchases from Old Navy, they were pretty inexpensive, and proved to do the job just right. You want to pick up long sleeve shirts, or pull overs that aren't too heavy, but can warm you up.
A good winter coat will be costly as I've mentioned before, but keep in mind that you want to avoid getting sick, and also think of it as an investment, you never know when you'll end up in Canada again, or somewhere with a similar climate. They roughly range from around 100 - 200.00 dollars, depending on the brand, size, and quality.
Another thing to be conscious of is the amount of clothing you bring, especially if travelling for education purposes. If you're going to school for a semester, or for 4 years, it really doesn't seem to make a difference, there's no need to bring your entire wardrobe, trust me, you'll find things where you're going to wear over time...TRUST me. Lol.
Long Johns: These are essential as well, oh, and please, get the right size. I got a pair, and oh my...not the right size at all. Don't get your regular size, they're really snug, so you may want to purchase them one or two sizes too big, depending on your body size.
Boots: Please get a good pair of boots. Ensure that they are winter boots, and not fashion boots, Gentlemen, a nice rugged pair of Timbalands will do just fine, Ladies I'm not entirely sure which brand will work best for you, but you want to make sure that they have thick soles, and can stand the water, and make sure they have a good grip as well, falling down on ice is not something you want to do.
Personal Care items: soap, toothepaste, deodarant etc, please there's no need to bring the entire Wal-mart with you, those things are universally sold, of course you should come with a travel pack size of everything just until you're settled in, and maybe one or two extra things as you deem necessary, but it's not as if the place you're going won't have them. The lighter you travel, the less hassle you'll have at the airport, and the less stress you'll incur. This advice is for both males and females, we all know our bodies, and females, yes I know your hair can be a big deal, but get a nice simple style that you think can last for at least a month, there may not be a hair stylist that meets your standards nearby, but rest assured that all will indeed be well.
One of our most natural concerns as human beings going into new situations and new environments is "will they like me?" Most likely they will, a lot of us don't want to admit it, but we do want to be accepted, and generally liked, of course there will be some that don't but that's ok, for the most part, you'll do just fine.
Also too, find your roots, get to know your Bahamian counterparts, if not all, some. Become familiarized with them because they know what you need to, who knows? Perhaps it can lead to new found friendships that can last for a lifetime.
Finally, be thankful. There are many people that would love to be where I'm at, and where you could one day be. Always be thankful, both to God, and to the people that afforded you the opportunity in the first place. Afterall, no one likes ungrateful people. That's never sexy. Let me just say it again, just in case, after all, you can never be too thankful...Thank you COB, and Mr. Russell for allowing me to spread my wings in a way that I could not have done at this time without your assistance. I am truly grateful for your time, efforts, support and words of encouragement over the past three months.
Finally again, lol, come prepared to have a BLAST. I've done so many things since I've been here, and the fun just seems to keep coming. Fashion shows, ski trips, meeting new friends, late night talks, it's truly an experience like no other.
This has been collegeguy.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I Am Not My Hair
So attached to this note, is a picture of me, adorning my latest hair style and expressing my anger and "fed-up-ness" at this world we live in today. India Aire has a song entitled "I am not my hair" and the chorus goes:
I will admit that although the style is nice, it is a BIT unflattering on me, but I am in the middle of a process, that process is locking. I want locks. With that said, I'll begin my story.
I showed this picture to a very trusted friend today, someone that I look up to, respect, love unconditionally, would give my life for, and she asked me exactly what I was trying to prove. I said well I'm not sure I understand what you are getting at, I'm not trying to prove anything, this is one of the steps I have to take in order to get my end result, as with any process in this life. We got into a GIGANTIC "discussion" about my hair, whether or not I will be able to work with it, and the issue of why I was doing it came up. I said well because it's something that I always wanted to try, I've just always wanted to do it. That makes no sense she says, you can't provide a good reason for doing it, so you shouldn't do it. Well the last time I checked, doing something that I want to do is more than reason enough. Fine she says, but what will people say? Only people who is drink and smoke and shoot up the place lock their hair. Now I HAD to jump on that. In my opinion that statement EPITOMIZES ignorance. How can you sit there and actually say such a thing? Are you telling me that EVERY SINGLE individual with dred locks smokes, they all drink, and they all have an insanely vast criminal record? Please, please provide the evidence. "What will everyone say?" she asked.."lawd he gone foreign and come back rasta..dese young chirren ain gat no guidance". Well I'm sorry to say, but as long as human beings live and breathe, they will be insecure. That is something that will never go away. Further, it matters not the way I wear my hair, I could be bald for heaven's sake, and people would still have their 5 cents to add, as if I asked for an opinion.
It saddens me though, that in THIS day, a day of advances in technology unfathomable by my grandparents, and their children even, that HAIR is left to determine the man. My hair has NOTHING to do with who I am as an individual. It does not determine my measure as a man, it does not determine the choices I make, and it most certainly does not make me any more or less the Amad you knew without dred locks. We talk about equality, and justice for all, etc, yet, a man is criticized for the choices he makes in life, regardless of how big or small they may be. Is the woman who strips at night to feed her baby a bad person? Is the young man selling news papers on the road to pay his tuition yet another worthless drop out? We will never know will we? We don't bother to find out why people do the things they do, we simply judge, lable and condemn. I'm not trying to compare my simple choice to the more life altering ones that others may have to make in life, but the fact still remains, it's a CHOICE. If I choose to wear my hair in a fashion that is "unacceptable" to you, does that make me any less Amad? The quality of my person is not diminished, nor is the quality of my work.
I long for the day when all judgement and persecution for silly things can stop, I long for a day when an individual can be simply that; an individual without fear of condemnation. Perhaps I'm longing for something that will never happen. Regardless of what happens, the one thing I know is that I am NOT my hair.
"Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but us can free our minds." An open minded person lives a freer life. Think about it.
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within
I will admit that although the style is nice, it is a BIT unflattering on me, but I am in the middle of a process, that process is locking. I want locks. With that said, I'll begin my story.
I showed this picture to a very trusted friend today, someone that I look up to, respect, love unconditionally, would give my life for, and she asked me exactly what I was trying to prove. I said well I'm not sure I understand what you are getting at, I'm not trying to prove anything, this is one of the steps I have to take in order to get my end result, as with any process in this life. We got into a GIGANTIC "discussion" about my hair, whether or not I will be able to work with it, and the issue of why I was doing it came up. I said well because it's something that I always wanted to try, I've just always wanted to do it. That makes no sense she says, you can't provide a good reason for doing it, so you shouldn't do it. Well the last time I checked, doing something that I want to do is more than reason enough. Fine she says, but what will people say? Only people who is drink and smoke and shoot up the place lock their hair. Now I HAD to jump on that. In my opinion that statement EPITOMIZES ignorance. How can you sit there and actually say such a thing? Are you telling me that EVERY SINGLE individual with dred locks smokes, they all drink, and they all have an insanely vast criminal record? Please, please provide the evidence. "What will everyone say?" she asked.."lawd he gone foreign and come back rasta..dese young chirren ain gat no guidance". Well I'm sorry to say, but as long as human beings live and breathe, they will be insecure. That is something that will never go away. Further, it matters not the way I wear my hair, I could be bald for heaven's sake, and people would still have their 5 cents to add, as if I asked for an opinion.
It saddens me though, that in THIS day, a day of advances in technology unfathomable by my grandparents, and their children even, that HAIR is left to determine the man. My hair has NOTHING to do with who I am as an individual. It does not determine my measure as a man, it does not determine the choices I make, and it most certainly does not make me any more or less the Amad you knew without dred locks. We talk about equality, and justice for all, etc, yet, a man is criticized for the choices he makes in life, regardless of how big or small they may be. Is the woman who strips at night to feed her baby a bad person? Is the young man selling news papers on the road to pay his tuition yet another worthless drop out? We will never know will we? We don't bother to find out why people do the things they do, we simply judge, lable and condemn. I'm not trying to compare my simple choice to the more life altering ones that others may have to make in life, but the fact still remains, it's a CHOICE. If I choose to wear my hair in a fashion that is "unacceptable" to you, does that make me any less Amad? The quality of my person is not diminished, nor is the quality of my work.
I long for the day when all judgement and persecution for silly things can stop, I long for a day when an individual can be simply that; an individual without fear of condemnation. Perhaps I'm longing for something that will never happen. Regardless of what happens, the one thing I know is that I am NOT my hair.
"Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but us can free our minds." An open minded person lives a freer life. Think about it.
An expression of my anger and fed-up-ness.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Do We even have to wonder?
So, I recently watched a documentary entitled "The Diary of a Tired Black Man" and in this documentary a man was being filmed, as he went around asking women and men of a variety of different ethnicities and races what they thought the problem with black men was. Why is it the black man is so highly disregarded among women was one of the questions he asked.
This documentary was more than interesting to me, as I am a black man myself. Throughout the documentary the lives of a couple and their friends were documented as well, and it was amazing to see how women treat men, not just black men, but men as a species in general.
In the documentary they complained about how men are dogs, and they're insensitive, and they talk down to you, don't women do these things as well? The issue of single parent homes was brought up, and a lot of the people in the documentary said that in order for anyone to be raised properly, they need the guidance of both parents in the homes. A very salient point, this stood out to me very much, and I thought about this phenomena from a Bahamian perspective.
Let's bring it home for a minute. In the Bahamas there are a considerable amount of single parent homes, in which some of the children turn out just fine, and in some others, they're not as lucky. In my opinion however, it is not the fact that the child is raised in a single parent home that he or she has turned out "wrong" it is because of the parent.
Wait, wait, hear me out. I have personally witnessed women tell their sons, "you ga be just like ya pa, good fa nuttin" or, "you no good just like ya ole worthless daddy", then what about the households with the little girls in them. Some of them are exposed to mommy sleeping with Tom, Dick, Harry, Peter and Larry, and each one is responsible for a different bill, how is that little girl supposed to respect her mother, how else do you expect her to end up? She is going to do the very same things her mother did, and she won't be respected, as she won't know how to respect herself and her body.
We wonder why there is so much crime amongst our nation, and why the National Average can't move, we wonder why the AIDS count climbs every year, and why the church is no longer seen as a place of Holiness, stop wondering people, the answer is LUCIDLY clear. It's because of us. The way we do things. How are we expecting our children to lead or nation when we can't do it ourselves?
We have to change the way we speak to our babies, "you so dumb" "ya black ugly self" if you are CONSTANTLY exposed to this type of verbal abuse throughout your life, what do you expect the outcome to be?
I myself am a tired Black man, tired of people condemning the entire species because of a few bad experiences you may have had. If you're so pissed off at us, if you so badly want a "good man" realize one when you see him, rather than talking down to your sons and nephews and brothers, uplift them, encourage them, speak life into them. A good man isn't someone that beats the crap out of you "because he loves you", a good man isn't someone who cheats on you with your sister or best friend, on the same token though, a strong woman, as this was an argument presented in the film, they said that men can't handle strong black women. I have to say, there is a huge difference between strong and ignorant. Being a strong black woman does not mean cursing and carrying on every opporutnity you get, it does not mean having 6 different men to "handle your business" it does not mean insulting your sons because of the mistakes his father made, a man you laid with enough times to make 3 or 4 DIFFERENT babies, come on man, how silly can we be?
I am sick and tired of being typecasted a "dog" because of the way you've been treated, I am not him, and he is not me, what gives you the right to categorize me? In every situation in life, whenever things happen to us, and they don't go the way we planned, we need to sit back, analyze the situation, and see what went wrong, that doesn't mean cast blame, that means exactly what it says, analyze the situation and see what went wrong. Look at the situation objectively and figure out what both you and the other person did wrong, AVOID these same mistakes in the future, and move forward with a clean slate. Carrying your previous woes into a future relationship will only end in failure.
Lastly, we have to become an uplifting, enlightening people. Bob Marley said in a song, "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but us can free our minds". That is so true. The only person that bounds us is ourselves. We have to learn to forgive, become a more peaceful people, encourage our fallen brothers, how else do we expect answers? How else do we expect them to be our leaders? If we don't then do we even have to wonder why our people are the way they are?
This has been Collegeguy.
This documentary was more than interesting to me, as I am a black man myself. Throughout the documentary the lives of a couple and their friends were documented as well, and it was amazing to see how women treat men, not just black men, but men as a species in general.
In the documentary they complained about how men are dogs, and they're insensitive, and they talk down to you, don't women do these things as well? The issue of single parent homes was brought up, and a lot of the people in the documentary said that in order for anyone to be raised properly, they need the guidance of both parents in the homes. A very salient point, this stood out to me very much, and I thought about this phenomena from a Bahamian perspective.
Let's bring it home for a minute. In the Bahamas there are a considerable amount of single parent homes, in which some of the children turn out just fine, and in some others, they're not as lucky. In my opinion however, it is not the fact that the child is raised in a single parent home that he or she has turned out "wrong" it is because of the parent.
Wait, wait, hear me out. I have personally witnessed women tell their sons, "you ga be just like ya pa, good fa nuttin" or, "you no good just like ya ole worthless daddy", then what about the households with the little girls in them. Some of them are exposed to mommy sleeping with Tom, Dick, Harry, Peter and Larry, and each one is responsible for a different bill, how is that little girl supposed to respect her mother, how else do you expect her to end up? She is going to do the very same things her mother did, and she won't be respected, as she won't know how to respect herself and her body.
We wonder why there is so much crime amongst our nation, and why the National Average can't move, we wonder why the AIDS count climbs every year, and why the church is no longer seen as a place of Holiness, stop wondering people, the answer is LUCIDLY clear. It's because of us. The way we do things. How are we expecting our children to lead or nation when we can't do it ourselves?
We have to change the way we speak to our babies, "you so dumb" "ya black ugly self" if you are CONSTANTLY exposed to this type of verbal abuse throughout your life, what do you expect the outcome to be?
I myself am a tired Black man, tired of people condemning the entire species because of a few bad experiences you may have had. If you're so pissed off at us, if you so badly want a "good man" realize one when you see him, rather than talking down to your sons and nephews and brothers, uplift them, encourage them, speak life into them. A good man isn't someone that beats the crap out of you "because he loves you", a good man isn't someone who cheats on you with your sister or best friend, on the same token though, a strong woman, as this was an argument presented in the film, they said that men can't handle strong black women. I have to say, there is a huge difference between strong and ignorant. Being a strong black woman does not mean cursing and carrying on every opporutnity you get, it does not mean having 6 different men to "handle your business" it does not mean insulting your sons because of the mistakes his father made, a man you laid with enough times to make 3 or 4 DIFFERENT babies, come on man, how silly can we be?
I am sick and tired of being typecasted a "dog" because of the way you've been treated, I am not him, and he is not me, what gives you the right to categorize me? In every situation in life, whenever things happen to us, and they don't go the way we planned, we need to sit back, analyze the situation, and see what went wrong, that doesn't mean cast blame, that means exactly what it says, analyze the situation and see what went wrong. Look at the situation objectively and figure out what both you and the other person did wrong, AVOID these same mistakes in the future, and move forward with a clean slate. Carrying your previous woes into a future relationship will only end in failure.
Lastly, we have to become an uplifting, enlightening people. Bob Marley said in a song, "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but us can free our minds". That is so true. The only person that bounds us is ourselves. We have to learn to forgive, become a more peaceful people, encourage our fallen brothers, how else do we expect answers? How else do we expect them to be our leaders? If we don't then do we even have to wonder why our people are the way they are?
This has been Collegeguy.
The many faces of Skiing.
Ever been skiing? I have. It's one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced in my entire life. It was awesome.
On my way to the ski rink, I was a bit nervous, a million thoughts were racing through my head, what if I fall and hurt myself? What if I end up, somehow off of the ramp, into some ditch somewhere and die? What if one of my skis comes loose and I break a leg..all semi irrational, but hey..I was nervous. So I arrive, and I look around, and I see all the babies skiing, some alone, some with their parents, and I'm like well ok Amad, if they can do it, then by George so can you.
Gave myself a little pep talk, said a nice prayer, and all was well. My first attempt was ok, not very impressive, but it was ok, but by the end of the day, oh my..I was indeed THE best skier that had ever lived. Well maybe not THE best,but I was pretty good.
I never realized just how liberating it would be. I felt like a different person when I left the ski rink. I had done something I was afraid to do, and while I was up there I had a lot of time to think about stuff, different things that have been bothering me lately. It was indeed, truly amazing.
I recommend that all people should go skiing at least once in their lifetime, you'll have a blast.
This has been Collegeguy.
On my way to the ski rink, I was a bit nervous, a million thoughts were racing through my head, what if I fall and hurt myself? What if I end up, somehow off of the ramp, into some ditch somewhere and die? What if one of my skis comes loose and I break a leg..all semi irrational, but hey..I was nervous. So I arrive, and I look around, and I see all the babies skiing, some alone, some with their parents, and I'm like well ok Amad, if they can do it, then by George so can you.
Gave myself a little pep talk, said a nice prayer, and all was well. My first attempt was ok, not very impressive, but it was ok, but by the end of the day, oh my..I was indeed THE best skier that had ever lived. Well maybe not THE best,but I was pretty good.
I never realized just how liberating it would be. I felt like a different person when I left the ski rink. I had done something I was afraid to do, and while I was up there I had a lot of time to think about stuff, different things that have been bothering me lately. It was indeed, truly amazing.
I recommend that all people should go skiing at least once in their lifetime, you'll have a blast.
This has been Collegeguy.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Seriously?
Oh! I forgot to tell you! So last night, I'm laying in my bed, JUST getting settled, ready to go to sleep, and I heard a noise, it was indistinctive, so I ruled it out, and like A HALF A SECOND later, a sound like no other. It was horrible, I don't even know how to explain it. It was the fire alarm, my first thought was is this for real?
"Come on, you don't wanna get burned right?" One girl said to me...burned? What the hell? I don't even see no smoke, how will I get burned? Anyway, I went downstairs in the FREEZING cold. All the while thinking, if the idiot who did this is still alive he or she is going to pay.
Apparently, the dorm I live in has the weakest smoke detectors ever, and so showering could set them off, seriously. So we're downstairs, FREEZING, and the safey and security guys are like ok, move it over here, we have to access the situation...well I already knew what the deal was, some pot head had been smoking again, and set off the alarms.
I SWEAR I could be psychic. I was right. If you know the smoke detectors are weak, why do you INSIST on smoking in your room? Taking me out of my nice, warm, accustomed to my body, bed. That's not sexy at all.
Anyway, so the guy who was getting high got found out supposedly, all's well. But seriously man, 1:00 a.m you gettin high and disturbin my rest? Not sexy at all.
This has been collegeguy.
"Come on, you don't wanna get burned right?" One girl said to me...burned? What the hell? I don't even see no smoke, how will I get burned? Anyway, I went downstairs in the FREEZING cold. All the while thinking, if the idiot who did this is still alive he or she is going to pay.
Apparently, the dorm I live in has the weakest smoke detectors ever, and so showering could set them off, seriously. So we're downstairs, FREEZING, and the safey and security guys are like ok, move it over here, we have to access the situation...well I already knew what the deal was, some pot head had been smoking again, and set off the alarms.
I SWEAR I could be psychic. I was right. If you know the smoke detectors are weak, why do you INSIST on smoking in your room? Taking me out of my nice, warm, accustomed to my body, bed. That's not sexy at all.
Anyway, so the guy who was getting high got found out supposedly, all's well. But seriously man, 1:00 a.m you gettin high and disturbin my rest? Not sexy at all.
This has been collegeguy.
Oh Canada!
So I'm in the second month already..can you believe it? In no time it'll be back to insane traffic and high temperatures. Time is going so fast.
If I'm to be honest with myself, I'd have to say that things are not going the way I planned. Well academically at least, I got two C's on two of my midterms, I know, I know..totally unacceptable. I can't understand it. Well maybe I can, I didn't study hard enough, but things are REALLY different here, sounds like I'm making excuses, but seriously they are. Takes a bit of getting used to, as does any new situation and change in life right? I'll get through it though, I always do.
On a lighter note, it's SPRING BREAK!! WOO HOO!! I'm going to have my first "Canadian Experience"this week, I'm going snow boarding, that should be exciting, can't wait for that. Other than that, I guess I'll just be home, enjoying the snow and such, I love it soo much, it's freaky sometimes. I'd much prefer living here, than home, simply because I don't sweat. It's the BEST feeling ever! Lol...anyway, I'm rambling. It's amazing how time flies when you're having fun.
This has been collegeguy
If I'm to be honest with myself, I'd have to say that things are not going the way I planned. Well academically at least, I got two C's on two of my midterms, I know, I know..totally unacceptable. I can't understand it. Well maybe I can, I didn't study hard enough, but things are REALLY different here, sounds like I'm making excuses, but seriously they are. Takes a bit of getting used to, as does any new situation and change in life right? I'll get through it though, I always do.
On a lighter note, it's SPRING BREAK!! WOO HOO!! I'm going to have my first "Canadian Experience"this week, I'm going snow boarding, that should be exciting, can't wait for that. Other than that, I guess I'll just be home, enjoying the snow and such, I love it soo much, it's freaky sometimes. I'd much prefer living here, than home, simply because I don't sweat. It's the BEST feeling ever! Lol...anyway, I'm rambling. It's amazing how time flies when you're having fun.
This has been collegeguy
If this isn't love, tell me what it is..
Love is a powerful thing, is it not? It makes us do silly things, that somehow in retrospect we probably would never do again, or thought, really? What is THAT severe? Well sometimes it could be, sometimes love clouds all judgement, and we do things, totally irrational, out of character things. All in the name of love.
I know of a girl, who's comtemplating suicide, because her boyfriend left her- again. It's one thing to be in love, or to love someone, but it's another thing to be stupid. Perhaps love has that affect on us also...who knows? That may be a bit harsh, but I don't understand how we allow people to have such control over us. Suicide? SERIOUSLY?
Maybe it is understandable. As human beings, we have a natural desire to be accepted, to be loved, to feel appreciated and wanted, and that desire and most often the concept, the idea of being in love is what harms us most. We're often in love with the idea of being in love, and so we put ourselves in situations we know make no sense, just to have a reason to say "I love you".
Loving someone, admittedly is a great feeling, having that equal that you can rely on for just about ANYTHING, trusting and knowing that with that kiss, all of your troubles can melt away, that person that makes you weak in your knees, that consumes all of your thoughts, your every being even, that person that you'd potentially give that being for...wow...even I want it. But at what cost?
Why should there be a price for this great gift of love, and why must it be so damn expensive?
On this Valentine's Day, the day of "love" (don't wanna get started on that) perhaps we need to take a look at ourselves, our relationships, take stock, and ensure that we are in it for the right reasons. LOVE is not taking advantage of someone, or having someone take advantage of you, LOVE is not about manipulation and degredation, LOVE is not about self loathing and self hatred. If that's how he says "I love you", then my dear there is a problem and you need to RUN.
Suicide is not the answer, why give him that much control, that much power, and the satisfation? We should never allow someone to have THAT much control over our lives. I know that you're hurting right now, and you feel like your world can crumble at any minute, but don't give up hope, the most important love of all is love of self and love of God. Love yourself enough to save yourself, learn from this experience, heed its warnings, and move forward.
Moral of the story children, is that love or the idea of being in love should never have such adverse affects on us, if it does, then it's not love. Love yourself first and foremost, for then you'll be able to love, and know how to be loved. Love genuinely, passionately, and appropriately...if he ain't feeling you, he ain't feeling you...there's nothing else you can do. Let it go.
Heed my warning. Love you first, and all will be well.
This has been collegeguy.
I know of a girl, who's comtemplating suicide, because her boyfriend left her- again. It's one thing to be in love, or to love someone, but it's another thing to be stupid. Perhaps love has that affect on us also...who knows? That may be a bit harsh, but I don't understand how we allow people to have such control over us. Suicide? SERIOUSLY?
Maybe it is understandable. As human beings, we have a natural desire to be accepted, to be loved, to feel appreciated and wanted, and that desire and most often the concept, the idea of being in love is what harms us most. We're often in love with the idea of being in love, and so we put ourselves in situations we know make no sense, just to have a reason to say "I love you".
Loving someone, admittedly is a great feeling, having that equal that you can rely on for just about ANYTHING, trusting and knowing that with that kiss, all of your troubles can melt away, that person that makes you weak in your knees, that consumes all of your thoughts, your every being even, that person that you'd potentially give that being for...wow...even I want it. But at what cost?
Why should there be a price for this great gift of love, and why must it be so damn expensive?
On this Valentine's Day, the day of "love" (don't wanna get started on that) perhaps we need to take a look at ourselves, our relationships, take stock, and ensure that we are in it for the right reasons. LOVE is not taking advantage of someone, or having someone take advantage of you, LOVE is not about manipulation and degredation, LOVE is not about self loathing and self hatred. If that's how he says "I love you", then my dear there is a problem and you need to RUN.
Suicide is not the answer, why give him that much control, that much power, and the satisfation? We should never allow someone to have THAT much control over our lives. I know that you're hurting right now, and you feel like your world can crumble at any minute, but don't give up hope, the most important love of all is love of self and love of God. Love yourself enough to save yourself, learn from this experience, heed its warnings, and move forward.
Moral of the story children, is that love or the idea of being in love should never have such adverse affects on us, if it does, then it's not love. Love yourself first and foremost, for then you'll be able to love, and know how to be loved. Love genuinely, passionately, and appropriately...if he ain't feeling you, he ain't feeling you...there's nothing else you can do. Let it go.
Heed my warning. Love you first, and all will be well.
This has been collegeguy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)